But for now
by hillom
Summary: These are shorts that look at the CSI's view on life etc, with each chapter dedicated to a different character. If you dont like what Ive written for one, try the next. Im not good at summary's so just read and decide for yourself.
1. Sara

Sara

**Welcome to the 'but for now' series, I will hopefully write a bit about each character and their frame of mind but there are no promises. As with everything I post on the site I don't own anything that you recognise, I'm only borrowing the character for a bit. Please leave any constructive feedback that you feel is needed, and just to let you know that this chapter is a repost as I wrote another character and came up with a title that will last for as many as I write! Hope you enjoy!**

Her mind has always been fragile, she never knows where to turn when she feels more breakable than most. Instead she hides herself away to avoid all the pain that she never wants to feel again. She hides from all the pain that is to come, the pain that comes from basic interaction. She knows that she hides, taking solace in reading textbooks and listening to a police scanner. She knows that she turns into herself every time he tears that small glimmer of hope away.

She knows that one day she will have isolated herself so much that when she admits she needs help no one will hear her cry. No one will come to help, no one will care.

She knows her mind is fragile, and she knows that he will never give her what she needs.

But for now she will read the rest of the text book and listen to the scanner as she promises herself that tomorrow she will open up to someone. Tomorrow, but tomorrow comes and goes and each night the promise is the same, a vain attempt to ease her fragile mind.


	2. Catherine

Catherine

**The second of my very short views into the minds of the characters, if it doesn't make any sense I'm sorry for my appalling writing skills. As with anything on this site I put on this site I own nothing and am just borrowing the characters for a bit, anything that you recognise I also don't own, everything belongs to someone else. Any constructive feedback is welcomed so if feel that any is needed just review. Hope you enjoy reading this!**

She sits and waits for her world to make sense, for her daughter to stop hating her, for the world to just stop so she can once again sleep. Sleep would allow the world to make sense for just a few hours, everything would be perfect and maybe, just maybe she could live a normal life when she woke.

Normal, her life had never been that. Every time she thought that she was even close to it the world turned against her, forcing rash decisions about every aspect of life. Rash decisions that were slowly pushing her daughter away from her, seemly towards the underbelly of Vegas that she never wanted her to see.

The underbelly of Vegas that she saw on a nightly basis with her seemingly numb exterior showing none of the emotions she felt inside. Work was the one place that she ever gained any respect, not much but she got respect. The only problem was her job left her even more isolated from the life that she wanted; people outside the world of forensics couldn't begin to comprehend why she did the work she did. Some nights she didn't know why herself.

But for now she will keep her feelings hidden, pretend that her life is normal and her daughter is the picture of innocence, while hoping for a sleep that will rid her of all her complications. A sleep that will be so perfect that the world needn't change or make sense for her to feel normal.


	3. Greg

Greg

_Welcome to the third chapter in the But for now series, if you didn't see the title it is all about Greg. I promise that this is happier than the ones written for Catherine and Sara (they are a bit depressing, especially Sara, but that doesn't mean that I won't write a happier chapter for them once I get to see series 6 of CSI). This is set before Greg actually became a CSI so don't moan about me keeping him in the lab! As with everything here if you recognise it I don't own it, and any constructive criticism is welcomed with open arms! Thanks for reading and I hope that you enjoy it!_

Where do you start with Greg? Enigmatic, complicated or just plain weird? That's what he likes, people trying to figure him out when they have no chance of pigeon holing him. Enigmatic's the word he prefers. Never one to follow the crowd or attempt to fit in with the overly popular, he's just Greg, always has been and always will be.

He sits in the lab sometimes and thinks about how he may be the only one there who hasn't lost faith in people; he's just not ready to give up hope yet! After all there must be some good in everyone he tells himself everyday.

He can't give up hope – that's what keeps him sane while he's in the lab all shift. The hope that Grissom will say 'Well Done Greg, you're a CSI Level One' or at least words to that effect. He knows that's what he wants now, to actually be a fully fledged Crime Scene Investigator; the pay cut people keep telling him about is irrelevant. After all life's not all about money.

But for now he'll wait patiently for everything to fall into place, the pay cut that may never happen, for people to stop trying to work out which 'group' he belongs in. Until then he'll carry on being Greg, after all he is who he is and no one can do anything about it.


	4. Nick

Nick

_Well here's the fourth chapter in 'But For Now', sorry but this ones a bit depressing as well, but hey it just fits my mood right now! It's been the most difficult one to write so far and I've tried to stay as true to the actual character as I can, which is the same with anything that I write, but if I've strayed and ruined the way you think of anything I'm truly sorry! Any way I hope that you enjoy reading this and as always any constructive criticism is welcomed. Thanks for reading!_

He's spent years looking over his shoulder, amazed that no ones noticed or at least commented. There's so much that he can't say to anyone about why, mainly he's scared that they won't understand, that they'll think less of him. He's never been able to wear his heart on his sleeve.

He's tired of always feeling like the underdog, the dumb one that needs everything to be explained in simple terms. Tired of being told he watches too much TV whenever he has a random fact or something interesting to say. Tired of being treated with kid gloves.

He can see them watching him, looking, checking that he's not going to suddenly break. The same looks they had when Nigel Crane was sat on the other side of the glass repeating 'I am one, and who am I?' He knows that they care and are only looking out for him, but there's only so much he can take.

They stop watching eventually, and then act like nothing ever happened, just sinking back to their normal ways. He sees them all as his family, except here he's not living under any ones shadow. He's proud of everything he's achieved since leaving Texas, and would rather forget some things.

But for now he'll keep doing what he's doing while praying that one day he can stop looking over his shoulder and actually talk about what he's feeling. He knows that one day he won't be the underdog and everything will fall into place. Until then he knows that they will support him, let him know that everything's ok, just like any family should.

_I just want to say sorry now for getting the Nigel Crane quote wrong, if I have, I couldn't get hold of a transcript and I couldn't find my DVD to see if I was right or not! I'm also looking for someone to proof read my work before I post it so if anyone wants to help just send me a message and let me know! Again thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it! _


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